1. You walk into the store and forget that your jeans button is undone because you unfastened it in the car
2. You pump your gas and remember that your top button is undone -- again
3. When you sit down a nice little shelf of flab forms over the top of your jeans
4. Your own brother asks you why you are walking funny and you are forced to admit that your jeans are a little too tight and they give you numerous wedgies when you walk
I am tired of trying to find jeans that fit. Seriously. I was born with no hips and no bum, so for as long as I can remember all of my jeans eventually stretch out and get baggy on me.
You might be thinking, who complains about having no tush and no hips? Well, let me tell you: losing your jeans as you walk down the grocery isle with a crying baby is NOT attractive. Hiking your jeans up as far as they will go just so they won't fall off is NOT attractive.
At this point you are probably thinking why am I complaining about baggy jeans when my post was clearly meant to talk about tight jeans? Let me explain:
Seven months ago I was 9 months pregnant, ready to not be fat, and more than ready to fit into my skinny jeans again. I couldn't wait until I had Analyn so I could go buy jeans and see my figure.
And I know everyone says don't buy jeans right after you have a baby, so I didn't. I bought two pairs. BIG MISTAKE.
I swear when I buy jeans they fit great, and I wear them every day and swell with pride because I think I look so good in my jeans. And then it happens. They either stretch out or shrink and then it's by-by sexy jeans. Hello saggy bum and hanging crotch. Goodbye any figure I thought I had.
So a month after I had Analyn I bought a pair of jeans. They were two sizes too small so I thought they'd be good motivation for me to lose some baby fat. Two weeks later they were so big I could pull them off of me completely even though they were all zipped up and fastened. I know I lost some weight, but those babies stretched way out!
Whoops. I should have known better. So I bought another pair of jeans a couple weeks later. I thought I was done losing baby fat. Same story. Tight jeans stretch out and I shrink and the rest you know.
FOUR months later I was back to my normal size and you'd think my prepregnancy pants should fit. Nope. Somehow they stretched out or something, and they no longer fit either. Don't get me started on that. You can see why I'm a little peeved. People, I just want to have one pair of jeans that fit!
So I bought another pair of jeans. Keep in mind I have to spend a little more on jeans because I can't buy them just anywhere. I have to buy them from Buckle where they make slimmer jeans for extra long people, and they aren't cheap.
So I bought a pair that was a little snug thinking they would stretch out just like the rest. NOPE. My luck ran out again. Luckily these are the only pair of jeans I've ever bought from Buckle that DON'T stretch out. So now I'm stuck with jeans that are too tight. Hence the unbuttoning of the top button and the nice shelf of tummy on the top.
So six months and more than $100 later, I still do not have a pair of jeans that fit me.
There's no moral to the story.
It just stinks.
9 comments:
I have plenty of toosh! You just let me know how much you'd like and I'd be happy to oblige! We all have or jeans dilemma unfortunately. It does make me feel a bit better that someone as skinny as you has issues. I mean that in the nicest way!!! :)
Hahah...Lindsay, I could just picture you this whole time. I love it when my jeans stretch just a tiny bit because then I think...sweet, my rear is shrinking. I DO have a REAR and DO have hips so I have to find them long enough AND wide enough. Almost every single pair of jeans I own come from Buckle because that is one of the only places that makes them long enough. I have found some jeans that stretch just a TINY bit that I really like. They are BKE Denim, Stella. I have liked them and don't feel like they have stretched out on me. Kind of stretchy jeans, if you will. A little pricy as most Buckle Jeans are, but I have really liked em. PS..you look great!
haha. This post made me laugh. I miss you Linds! (and of course Thaddeus too.) I have the same "no toosh, no hips" problem. My jeans get waay baggy too fast! I think I'm just going to accept it and start dressing like a gangsta with baggy pants. :)
Drew and I have a blog too
it's drewanderika.blogspot.com
when you have a butt it is No better! Then when you sit down and get up a couple times the butt is stretched out and it looks like you have an even bigger but. and the no hips...sorry, no simpathy. but i do understand the frustration...does anyone like buying jeans? probably just men. anyways, funny post!! and see you next week in VEGAS!!!
Well, welcome to the club. Jeans never really fit me either. I guess I prefer the tight jeans with a loser top so I'm not totally visually hanging over. But I do have some loose ones too. Now that I think about it, I think I need a new pair. Man, the last ones I got from costco cuz the were on sale fit me good around the waist but the seam practically runs along the front of my legs towards the bottoms. Poorly made if you ask me!!!
Oh, how I would kill to have your problem! I have a bum big enough for the both of us! I'm not sure how that happened, seeing that I never really had one before. But Henry's pregnancy brought on a whole new meaning to "baby got back."
at least you don't have the thighs!!
Linds, can I just say that you crack me up?!!
I am so jealous that you live in California. I'm sick of winter and all the sickness that comes with it. I'm so glad you found my blog. It's good to hear from you, and so fun to look at pictures of your little girl. She's adorable. I love little girls, but am excited to have a little boy as well. I'm having the problem of pants falling down as well, but for opposite reasons. I am getting a larger toosh, and larger belly. At least I have a reason, right? Let's just hope I can lose it all again. This will be so good to stay in touch with you.
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